


tell me you'll stay (never ever go away)

by sheriffandsteel



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), F/M, Pining, Soft Ben Hanscom, benverly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:07:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25091353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheriffandsteel/pseuds/sheriffandsteel
Summary: Ben loves most things but there is little that he loves more than love itself.He's already met the woman he's certain is the One.If only he could find her again.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom & Eddie Kaspbrak, Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon & Ben Hanscom, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	tell me you'll stay (never ever go away)

**Author's Note:**

> title from New Kids on the Block 'Please Don't Go Girl' because of course it is.

Ben was what his friends liked to call a hopeless romantic. 

Or at least Mike called him that, Eddie tended to just call him hopeless but he said it so fondly that Ben couldn’t be upset with him over it. Besides, neither of them were wrong. Ben would be the first to admit he was a hopeless romantic, for as long as he could remember he had been in love with love. 

Unfortunately, he just couldn’t seem to find the right person to devote all his love to. 

At first his partners always thought his undivided affection was sweet but usually after about three or four months they suddenly needed space or said that Ben was suffocating them. Ben respected their wishes of course and never joined in when Eddie ranted about how the girls weren’t being fair, that any attention from Ben should be exalted and cherished, not something to scorn at. 

Eddie often did things like that, he stood up for Ben all the time even when Ben didn’t think to do so himself. He had been Ben’s best friend since freshman year of college and six years later he still held that title (although now he had to share it with Mike, not that either of them minded). Eddie and him just clicked together, even though at first glance one won’t think that Eddie’s spitfire ranting energy and Ben’s soft lovelorn personality would work, against all odds they did. Eddie made Ben take risks, made sure that he didn’t spend too much time obsessing over calorie intake or workout too hard. In return Ben made Eddie calmer and made certain he didn’t go on WebMD, like at all. Several times over the years Ben wished he was sexually attracted to guys because Eddie and him would be the perfect couple. 

Ben needed a girl like that in his life, someone who loved every hopeless romantic part of him and who made him better, the best version of himself he could possibly be. The version of himself he was constantly, desperately trying to achieve. 

Eddie however thought he needed something else first. 

“You need to have a one-night stand.” he said sagely, tilting his wine glass in Ben’s direction. 

Ben watched the liquid inside tilt dangerously as he blinked, “What?” 

“It's when you spend the night with someone and don’t call them again.” Mike explained softly, clearly misunderstanding Ben’s confusion. 

Ben patted his hand softly; Mike was another person who made him wish he liked men. Mike’s soul was nearly as soft as Ben’s was and Ben was certain he had to set off every metal detector he walked through because his heart was made of pure 24-karat gold. “I know what a one-night stand is. I just don’t understand why I need to have one.” 

“Because!” Eddie cried, thankfully putting down his glass before he threw his hands in the air. “You’re still not over Lisa and in a week, you’ll be head over heels for some other girl and we’ll go through this same thing in four months.” 

Ben shifted uncomfortably at Eddie’s words but really, this pattern had been going for five years now so really, it was fair. 

“How will a one-night stand help?” Ben asked in confusion. 

“You need to be with someone and not fall in love.” Eddie said determinedly pointing his finger at Ben accusingly. Mike pulled his wine glass off the table as Eddie’s hand motions got more erratic. 

“Why?” Ben asked, shifting uncomfortably. He was what he called a bit old-fashioned and what Eddie called a bit of a prude, Ben thought that sex should mean something, that you should care about the person you were being intimate with. The thought of being with a girl and never calling her again like she meant nothing to him made a queasy feeling roil through Ben’s gut. 

“You’re never going to break your pattern unless you do something crazy.” Eddie nodded confidently which made Ben crinkle his nose. 

“But you have one-night stands all the time and you haven’t broken your pattern.” Ben shook his head in confusion as Eddie narrowed his brow at him and Mike tried desperately (and futilely) to hide the fact that wine had just come out of his nose in laughter. 

“Because Ben.” Eddie growled, “One-night stands are my pattern.” 

Mike broke into peals of laughter as Eddie turned the full weight of his glare onto him. Ben shook his head in confusion and drained his wine glass. He still didn’t see the point Eddie was trying to make. 

Why be with someone if you didn’t see the possibility of falling in love? 

Despite his confusion and every molecule of his body telling him it was a bad idea Ben found himself in a dark club two nights later. He’d lost Mike soon after they entered and Eddie had just been whisked off to the dance floor by a man in bright pink leggings. Ben had wanted to ask him where he’d gotten them but the music was too loud and they moved to fast for Ben to get the words out. 

Shoving his free hand in his pocket Ben nursed his drink and leaned back against the bar, scanning the crowd. He really didn’t want to be there; clubs had never been his scene. He liked dancing (loved it really depending on what music was playing) and he didn’t mind the noise or the dark or the stuffy air. He didn’t even mind having to dodge people making out or grinding on the dancefloor, or even the fact that he’d heard people having sex in the bathroom. He knew most people didn’t think of sex the same way he did and Ben didn’t care. He wasn’t having sex with those people so it didn’t matter to him what they did. 

No, the reason Ben didn’t like clubs was because he had met the love of his life at a club and then she’d slipped away before he could get her number, or even her last name. 

A girl jostled up to his elbow and offered to buy him a drink but Ben smiled at her politely and showed her the nearly full drink still in his hands. She smiled at him with a wink before moving to a taller man down the bar no doubt to ask the same question. 

Ben took a sip and scanned the crowd, lost in his thoughts and doing what he always did whenever Eddie convinced him to come to a club. 

He looked for her. 

They’d been in New York for less than thirty-six hours and Ben was anxious, overwhelmed and ecstatic all at once. They were mostly unpacked and while Eddie would have no doubt preferred that they stay and unpack everything right away all three of them needed a break. Despite the fact that Ben and Mike would have been more than happy to just go out and get a pizza, or maybe even have it delivered so they could eat at their newly assembled kitchen table, Eddie had somehow managed to convince them to go clubbing. 

To say Ben was surprised was putting it mildly, Eddie had never been into parties at college. He didn’t like the crowds or the confined spaces or the fact that one of Mike’s football buddies had a huge crush on him and always spent half the night hitting on him and usually ended up spilling beer on someone by accident. But Eddie was convinced that New York was going to be a fresh start for all of them, and Mike and Ben were nothing if not good friends so even when it was the last thing they wanted to do after moving furniture all day they cleaned themselves up and followed Eddie to a club. 

The name of the club was _the Sewers_ and Ben was convinced Eddie chose it because it was against everything he stood for. He practically hyperventilated in the line and Ben kept waiting for him to say it was a mistake and drag them away. The growling in his stomach wouldn’t have minded if he had but somehow Eddie toughed it out and dragged them into the club. 

It wasn’t as dirty as the name had led Ben to expect but it wasn’t exactly clean either. His shoes stuck to the floor several times as they made their way to the bar. They weren’t even into their first drink when Mike was whisked away to dance with a beautiful girl and two songs later Eddie was being pulled to the floor as well. 

“You don’t mind do you Ben?” he asked hopefully, lingering at the table until Ben waved him on with a smile. 

“Go! Have fun!” Ben grinned and watched Eddie disappear into the crowd before leaning back in his chair and surveying the packed area. 

He was just about finished with his drink and debating getting a new one when a hand tapped his shoulder and Ben looked over to see a man with curly hair and a face like a sculptor’s dream looking down at him. 

“Do you mind if my friend shares your table? She twisted her ankle.” the man explained, pointing over his shoulder to a girl leaning against the wall, holding her foot above the ground and wincing. 

Ben nodded quickly, his brain too frazzled to form words as the man walked away to help the most beautiful girl Ben had ever seen in his life make her way across the room. They were nearly halfway there when Ben snapped out of his daze enough to realize he was being rude and he jumped from his seat to go to the couple offering her his arm to help her balance as she hobbled her way across the packed club. 

She smiled up at him gratefully, leaning some of her weight on him and Ben had to remind his feet to move and not stay rooted in the spot at her green eyes on him. 

“Thanks.” she said brightly, the sound of her voice quickly becoming Ben’s new favorite song. 

Ben nodded mutely and helped her settle down into Eddie’s vacant seat. 

“You want me to stay?” her friend asked (and god, Ben really hoped they were just friends), lingering uncertainly and looking at Ben with distrust. Ben was too enamored by the girl to feel offended by the look. 

“No, go keep flirting. You better get that boy’s number before we leave!” the girl smiled and Ben felt his heart melt as her friend nodded, gave Ben one last inscrutable look, and headed for the dance floor. 

The pumping music seemed to fade as the girl turned the full weight of her smile onto him and Ben now completely understood why people fought wars over people’s smiles. This was a girl whose face could launch a thousand ships, no scratch that. Her very _shadow_ could launch ten thousand ships, a _million_ shi- 

Oh, shit she was talking to him. 

“What was that?” Ben asked, blushing and leaning forward a little as if he hadn’t heard her because of the music and not because he was waxing poetic about her face. 

“I said thanks for letting me join you.” she had propped her ankle up on Mike’s chair and Ben could already see it swelling. 

“Of course, you’re injured!” he didn’t add that he would have let her sit there anyway (and really, anyone who had asked to sit, he was a nice guy like that). “Why don’t I get you some ice for that?” 

She looked up at him in surprise but Ben was already on his feet and moving to the bar. He knew from years of track related injuries that the sooner you got ice on something the better. 

By some miracle Ben was able to walk right up to the bartender and he returned to his table minutes later with two pint glasses full of ice. The girl was all but beaming at him as Ben shifted awkwardly before gesturing to her ankle. 

“Can I?” he trailed off and she smiled and nodded, gesturing to the chair her foot rested on. 

“Be my guest.” 

Ben was extra careful not to touch her skin as he placed the glasses on either side of her ankle. He would hate it if she thought he was a creep. She let out a sigh of relief at the cold contact and leaned back in her chair. 

“That feels amazing. Thank you.” 

Ben nodded shyly, sinking back into his seat and suddenly not really sure what to do with his hands or really any part of his body. 

“I’m Beverly.” the girl, Beverly, said holding her hand out for him to shake. 

“Ben.” his fingers closed around her palm and he was glad that the coldness from the ice could be used as an excuse for his clammy hands. 

“Thanks for being my knight in shining armor tonight Ben.” Beverly smiled at him and Ben felt a shiver race up his spine as she said his name. He had never thought much about his name before, it was just his name, but hearing it come from her mouth Ben suddenly thought it was the sexiest word in the English language. Well, after Beverly of course. 

“Anytime.” Ben said nervously, taking his hand back and cradling it under the table as if he could still feel her touch there. 

Beverly smiled at him and leaned forward, her eyes peering into his as a slow grin spread across her face, “So...come here often?” 

Ben wasn’t sure how long Beverly and him had actually sat at the table. He just knew that they talked for what had felt like hours about everything under the sun; movies, books, music (she didn’t even blink an eye when he told her his favorite band was New Kids on the Block). They talked about their hometowns (she was from Maine too, their meeting was fate Ben was sure of it), colleges, how long they’d been in the city. She seemed positively thrilled when Ben told her he’d just moved there that weekend. They got into a long conversation about haikus which Beverly thought were overrated but Ben adored. 

(“I bet I can change your mind.” Ben wagered, leaning slightly closer. 

“I doubt it.” Beverly laughed, her eyes crinkling. 

“You’d love a haiku if it was written about you.” Ben assured her, making her look at him appraisingly. 

“Write one about me then.” she’d grinned at him in challenge and Ben suddenly found he didn’t remember how to count syllables with her looking at him like that.) 

Everything seemed to be going great, amazing even. Ben had gone to the bar to get them both drinks, he managed to form a haiku in his head while he waited and he had just worked up the courage to ask her for her number when he returned to the table and she was gone. 

At first, he didn’t think much of it, figuring she’d gone to the bathroom and had figured she could make it without Ben’s help. Minutes passed and he assumed her friend had come to fetch her, needing her for something. By the time Eddie returned to the table nearly half an hour later Ben had forced himself to admit that wherever she had gone, Beverly wasn’t coming back. 

It had been two years and Ben still wasn’t over it, even though he knew that technically there was nothing for him to get over. He was just certain that things between Beverly and him and been so good, so right. He could never figure out why she had left that night without even a goodbye. 

The music pulsed loudly in his ears as Ben scanned the crowd for a shock of red hair. Nothing. 

He goes home alone that night, well he goes home with Mike. They’d lost Eddie to a tall man with glasses and a bright Hawaiian printed shirt. It was not the kind of person Ben ever would have expected to see clean polished Eddie with but he had learned over the years that was the point. Eddie was always looking for people he didn’t see a future with while Ben always did the exact opposite. 

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” Ben asked Mike in between bites of the taco in his hand. The fact that you could find food at any time of night never ceased to amaze him. He loved New York City so much sometimes it hurt. 

“Hmm.” Mike hummed as he thought this over. That was another thing Ben loved, Mike never judged him for getting all romantic and starry-eyed after he’d had a few drinks (or really, anytime). “You know I think I do.” 

“Really?” Ben was surprised, Mike dated every now and then but he always seemed so practical when it came to love that his answer threw Ben through a loop. 

“Sure.” Mike shrugged and threw his wrapper into a trashcan. “Love is already weird enough as it is, why put a timeline on how quick you can fall in love with someone?” 

“I think I’m in love.” Ben admitted with a sigh as he shoved his wrapper in the trash more to have something to look at other than Mike as he whispered the truth he’d been trying to ignore for over two years. 

“With Lisa?” Mike asked softly, citing Ben’s most recent ex. 

Ben shook his head, he had loved Lisa of course, he’d loved all of his girlfriends. But it wasn’t the same. He’d loved them, but he wasn’t in love with them. None of them had made him feel as warm inside, as heard and understood as the beautiful redhead in the dark noisy club had. Ben loved the city but sometimes he hated how big it was because he knew he had very little chance of every finding her again. 

“No.” Ben sighed, tilting his head back to stare up at the black sky above them, searching futilely for stars he knew were there but couldn’t see. “With Beverly.” 

Mike clapped him on the shoulder and led him back to the apartment not even asking the question Ben knew had to be burning in his mind, who the fuck was Beverly? 

Of course, the question in Ben’s case was where the fuck was Beverly? 

And more importantly, how and when was he ever going to see her again? 

“I cannot believe you have a boyfriend. This is the most exciting thing to happen to me all year.” Ben gushed as he helped Mike finish wrapping up the plate of brownies he’d made as a host gift. 

“Didn’t you get promoted this year?” Mike asked curiously as Eddie huffed and flushed red at the attention Ben was giving him. 

“Still not as exciting as this.” Ben was beaming, practically shaking with excitement and from holding back the urge to squish Eddie in a hug and plaster kisses all over his head. A boyfriend! His little Eddie was growing up. 

“You made a good call not telling us until tonight.” Mike laughed pulling on his jacket as Eddie shifted nervously. 

“Guys I really like Richie, please don’t be too embarrassing.” Eddie looked directly at Ben while he said this which was fair. Mike was only ever pleasant and agreeable around strangers; he would never do anything to embarrass Eddie in front of his new boyfriend and his friends. Ben always meant well but he did have a tendency to like to hear about first meetings and first dates in exquisite detail and Eddie often had to remind him that not everyone liked to dish out their whole love story to strangers. He knew that Eddie was especially nervous of what Ben would ask Richie after he’d all but grilled the elderly couple on the train that morning but really, it was their fifty-fifth anniversary! What was Ben supposed to do, _not_ ask them for the secret to love? It wasn’t his fault the old gentleman loudly said great sex. 

Eddie’s leg bounced nervously the entire train ride and Ben couldn’t get the wide smile off his face no matter how hard he tried. Mike was right, Eddie had made the right decision to not tell him about Richie and this dinner until two hours before or Ben would have been insufferable for days. 

“I’m just so happy for you!” Ben cried, his emotions coming too much for him. He flung his arms around Eddie and pulled him tight to his chest, peppering kisses into his hair while Eddie groaned and Mike laughed. 

“Let it out now Ben.” Eddie grumbled into his chest, but he patted Ben’s arm encouragingly so Ben happily launched into his tirade about how Eddie was a wonderful man and a great catch and that Richie better treat him like the king he is or that Ben was going to have words with him (Mike looked incredibly amused by this nonexistent threat). By the time they got to their stop Eddie was flushed a bright red and Ben felt a little less like he was going to explode from all the happiness inside him. 

“Don’t you just love love?” Ben sighed happily as Eddie rung the buzzer on an old brick building. 

“Please leave the sappy shit at the door.” Eddie groaned and Ben made a cross over his heart in promise. 

Well, he’d try at least. And people should always get points for trying. 

Eddie seemed to grow more and more nervous with every flight of stairs they took and by the time they reached the fourth floor he was shaking. Ben stopped him in the stairwell and gripped Eddie’s shoulders. 

“Stop. You’re perfect. I love you. Mike loves you. Richie loves you. His friends will love you.” Ben told him patiently. 

“I thought I told you to leave the sappy shit outside.” Eddie grumbled but Ben could feel his shoulders release some of their tension under his hands. 

“Technically you said to leave it at the door.” Mike said helpfully on the step below them. 

“And you didn’t specify which door.” Ben added with a grin swooping in to press a kiss smack in the middle of Eddie’s forehead. “Come on, introduce me to the love of your life already.” 

“Okay seriously knock that shit off Ben.” Eddie snapped making Mike laugh and nudge them forward. 

Richie was nothing like what Ben had been expecting but after five minutes Ben could see past his crude obnoxious humor and he could tell that he was absolutely perfect for Eddie. His friends were running late which Ben didn’t mind because it let him get to see how relaxed Eddie got around Richie without the pressure of new people. 

They were nearly done with the plate of brownies Mike had brought (“You snooze you lose fuckfaces.” Richie had replied when Mike asked if he wanted to wait to eat them until everyone else arrived) when the door opened and Eddie sat up straight like he’d been prodded with a livewire. 

Ben looked over his shoulder curiously to see two men come into the room. The one on the left was tall with auburn hair but the one on the right made his heart stutter in his chest. 

It was him, the curly haired friend of the most perfect woman in the universe. Ben found himself stumbling to his feet, trying to think of a way to ask him about Beverly without sounding like a total stalker creep when the goddess herself stepped through the door. 

Ben was pretty sure he wasn’t breathing as Richie called loudly in his ear, “Bout time you fuckers showed up! I’m trying to make a good impression here!” 

“B-b-bit too late for that.” the tallest of the trio laughed. 

Beverly laughed as well and the breath rushed back into Ben’s lungs at the sound. He must have made some kind of noise for her eyes darted to him then. Her brow wrinkled for a second and Ben had to curl his fingers into his palms to fight down the urge to reach forward and smooth the crease from her brows as she looked him over. 

“Oh my god.” she laughed, pushing past her friends to approach Ben. Before he even knew what was happening she was throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him into a hug. Ben forgot how to move his muscles and he could feel five very curious pair of eyes on him and he found himself unable to do anything but awkwardly pat Beverly's shoulder before she let go. 

Even that little bit of contact left him breathless. 

“My knight in shining armor. I never thought I’d see you again.” she grinned squeezing his arm gently. 

“I’d hoped.” Ben admitted, blushing at the way her green eyes sparkled as she smiled. 

“Stan do you remember Ben?” Beverly turned away from him, dropping her hand from his arm as she looked at the curly haired man. 

“No.” Stan replied curtly, looking Ben up and down appraisingly. 

“Remember it was Richie’s 23rd birthday and I twisted my ankle and Richie almost got arrested so we had to run from that nasty club down on 27th?” she asked making Richie splutter and Eddie turn to glare at him. 

“What did you do?” he asked, his voice tight in the way that Ben knew meant he was seconds from going off. 

Ben had more pressing matters to deal with at the moment. “Is that why you left?” he asked softly, even though he knew his volume wasn’t going to stop the others from listening in. He would listen in too if he was in their position. It's not being nosy when you’re watching a great love story unfold. 

“Ugh yeah. Had to run three blocks on that ankle before we caught a cab. Thanks again Richard.” Beverly nudged Richie’s chest lightly and he groaned in mock outrage. 

“Sorry for just abandoning you that night.” Beverly continued, looking back up at him with eyes that the lighting in the club had not done justice too. 

“It's okay.” Ben assured her because suddenly it was okay. She was in front of him now and yeah it might have been two years later but who cared? She was there and he was there and she was smiling up at him so close that he could see the freckles across the bridge of her nose. 

And okay yeah, there were five other people in the room with them, one of whom he still didn’t know the name of and who could very well be her boyfriend for all Ben knew but fuck it. Eddie could suffocate him in his sleep later if he fucked this up that badly but Ben was not going to risk letting this girl walk away from him twice. 

Ben rubbed the back of his neck anxiously and tried hard to pretend they were the only people in the room as he asked, “I’ve been meaning to ask, do you think I could get your number?” 

It was dead quiet in the room and Ben felt himself start to shrink and he waited for the floor to open up and swallow him or Eddie to hit him in the head with a wine bottle. 

Instead Beverly’s smile only widened and she held out her hand expectantly, “Give me your phone then.” 

Ben didn’t take his eyes off her as he does as she asked so he didn’t see the impressed looks on the others’ faces but he did hear Richie whisper, “Damn son, that boy’s got game.” 

Eddie and Mike immediately began to crack up with laughter but Ben didn’t mind. Beverly finished tapping out her number and passed him the phone with a smile, looking almost shy as she turned to Eddie. 

“You must be the boyfriend. How on earth do you put up with this man?” 

Ben didn’t hear his answer he was too busy typing on his phone, the haiku that had been playing on repeat in his mind for years just waiting for the chance to share it with the woman it was about. 

_Your hair is winter fire. January embers. My heart burns there, too._

Turning away from Eddie Beverly dug her phone from her pocket and Ben watched her face as she read the poem, his heart racing in his chest. She smiled at the screen before looking up at him, her eyes searching his for a brief moment before she turned back to her phone. 

_Looks like you were right. I do like haikus more now. Well, ones about me._

Ben grinned at the screen before shoving his phone back in his pocket. He could text with Beverly later right now he was going to relish in her sudden reappearance in his life and fall in love with her a little more every single second they were together. Ben always thought he had a good memory but now he knew that to be false because his memories did no justice to Beverly's laugh or her smile or the shade of her hair and the color of her eyes. Ben could get lost in those eyes so easily. So happily. 

Ben loved this night. He loved this city. He loved his friends. He loved love. He loved Beverly. 

And when they left that night and she pressed a light kiss to his cheek they were close enough that Ben could see it in her eyes. 

She loved him too.

**Author's Note:**

> hyper-fixate on the clown movie with me on tumblr [applesouletly](https://applesouletly.tumblr.com/)


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